Back Home--

I'm home. It's nice to know that I will be sleeping in my own bed tonight. I got in at one this afternoon. Jim dropped me off at the airport at 6:30 this morning. It was a lot busier in there than I thought it would be. Lines to check baggage, lines to go through security, lines to get on the plane....a morning of hurry up and wait. I once again was randomly selected to be searched. I checked my carry on today because I lacked the energy to carry it around the airport. So essentially I was ushered to the head of the line and allowed to pass through security. It was nice. The other nice thing was I got to fly first class from Atlanta to Houston. I was assigned the same seat as another passager who was already there. When I went to ask the flight attendant about it, she just motioned to the front row aisle seat in first class and told me to sit there. Well, I wasn't about to do any complaining. I sat and had my drink first, got my snack first, got off the plane first. It was a bit of a treat.

No, super long post today. I'm getting ready to eat and do my laundry. I'll be asleep before 9 if all goes well. Hope you all had a great weekend. I'm sure tomorrows post is going to be a bitchy one, because there will be fires to put out all over the place. I have no idea how that place ran while I was gone. Just kidding. Ok, bye!

Whew, it's been a fun (but long) couple of days. Yesterday I went to lunch with my friend Mike and his wonderful wife. They made the long drive up from Burnsville and took me out to lunch at the Sample Room. It was a great experience. We started out with some appetizers, worked our way to an entree and then couldn't eat another bite. Everything there is homemade including the ketchup, it was just fab.

When I got home I started some laundry and relaxed with a Screwdriver. Ms. Susan gave me a call and we decided to head on out for happy hour in St. Paul. Well, I haven't been in much of a beer mood and kept with the Screwdrivers. About $20 later I was pretty lit up. Ooops. Sometimes that just happens. We made our way back to Minneapolis at about 7ish. Jim, Shawn and Jeff were sitting around trying to decide what to do for the evening. A couple of more drinks later we decided to head downtown. I wanted to swing by the Melting Pot to have some cheese and see some old co-workers so I had them drop me off on their way to The Bolt. I had a beer, relaxed and caught up on all of the gossip. When Rob (one of my favorites) was done we headed over to Xelo for some cocktails. I ended up doing shots and I think that's where I went astray. I wasn't feeling so well, and considering that it was 1:30 I didn't think drinking anymore was a good idea. Someone gave me a ride home, and I quickly crawled into bed, happy to have on my jammies.

Less than a half hour later, after I managed to fall asleep, therefore avoiding the painful headache I was getting, the boys came home and decided that I should drink more. They ripped the covers from me and forced me to drink and play cards. My attempts at returning to a restful state were discouraged. At one point Jim was dragging me across the floor back to the table so we could resume our drinking and debauchery. Daddy Jeff was assigned to keep me up as Jim and Shawn headed out for a smoky treat. Their orders were to keep her up and make some new cocktails (like any of us needed any more to drink). Daddy Jeff had to use the restroom too, so I ran in and turned on the faucet hoping to distract him long enough to secure my place on the air mattress. Unfortunately I was unable to do so, he was too quick for me.

I wasn't happy with the situation and Jim told me to call my mom. I asked him for the phone and dialed the digits. My dad answered and he asked if someone was drunk. I then asked, "Why, are you drinking?"
I think we made some small talk until my mom got on the phone. She wanted to talk to the person who told me to call my mom. I handed the phone to Daddy Jeff. They spoke for a moment and then I got the phone back. We talked some more, but I have no idea about what. Ooops....are you suppossed to be calling your mom drunk in the middle of the night. It was actually at about 4AM, luckly enough they were up too, because I would have gotten the third degree.

We made it to bed at about 4:45. I was super happy.

Today was a lazy day....a bit of lunch with my friend Darcy and then back home to rest up for the tree decorating party. The tree looks beautiful. It's late and my plane leaves at 7:30, so I have to pack and go to bed. Daddy Jeff is emailing me the photos from this week, so I will be posting them as soon as I can. Jim said that my posts while I've been here read like I'm drunk, so that will be changing next week too. I've honestly had more to drink in the last 3 days than I have in the last 4 months. My tolerance isn't what it used to be.

OK, have a great day!

Thanksgiving Eve--

So we went out, and we drank, alot! We started off at the Bolt/Eagle, eventually made our way over to the Saloon, where we ended up drinking way more than we should have. You know, I've spent most of my Minneapolis bar time in boy bars and am still amazed when the two ugliest people manage to find each other and make out on the dance floor. It was like some horrible accident I witnessed, you point it out to all your friends so you can recount the nastiness of it all later on. There was one point where Ugly Guy 1's (UG1) hand was so far down Other Ugly Guy's (OUG) pants that I thought possibly his hand was lost forever. The really sweet part was that they both had their shirts off and in between their loving make out sessions on the dance floor they would "bust a move" like they were the shit.

We made it home at about 3ish. I was so damn tired I put my jammies on and went right for the comfy air mattress. The boys were in the living room/kitchen pouring more alcohol down their throats. Daddy Jeff came in and talked to me for awhile. By 4ish everyone was down for the count.

Somehow, we all managed to pull our butts out of bed by 10AM. I went up and layed on the couch with Daddy Jeff and watched TV, while Jim made us some breakfast. Daddy Jeff had plans to meet his family at 11:30 for Thanksgiving Brunch. I was trying to talk him into cancelling. If only we could have come up with a good excuse we could have lounged all day in front of the TV. But, our inability to design a good enough excuse meant that he would be gone for a couple of hours. Of course he ate before leaving so he wouldn't have to subject himself to shitty restaurant Thanksgiving food.

Eventually everyone made it over. Patty Pumpkin Pants, Eunice, even Disco Mike managed to swing by for a quick visit. We lounged and made attempts at helping Jim, but mostly spent out time in front of the TV nursing those damn hangovers. The closer we got to dinner, the "thirstier" I became. Daddy Jeff and I made a trip over to the Holiday station for some Tabasco and Tomato Juice among a few other necessities. I made a mean Bloody Mary. A bit spicy but it really helped that hangover.

Dinner was at 5PM. We had a nice meal. of course everyone ate too much, but it was sooooooo good. By 8 we had more people showing up to visit. It was like that the rest of the evening. Among some of our visitors was Raeann and Kathleen......then Saturn Richard and James.....Bathroom Mike (who now according to Saturn Richard can be referred to as Web-Cam Mike, but I think that might need to be a post entirely to itself). We chatted and drank some more. By midnight I was in bed ready to take my long winters nap.

Jeff and Jim have been mercilessly picking on me since waking up. I have lunch plans with my friend Mike and his wife today. I feel really bad because there are so many other people that I want to see, but week is not enough time, especially when you don't have a car. So, I'm off to pick up the kitchen a bit and then take a shower. I'll be sure to let you know if anything exciting happens.

Tuesday was a relaxing day overall. I got up with Ms. Susan and went downtown at 8am. I had coffee at Dunn Brothers on Nicollet Mall, wandered in and out of shops and generally did what I felt like. I did an errand for Ms. Susan then we had a nice lunch at Fire Lake (which is located in the Radisson downtown) and did more stuff I wanted to do. There is something refreshing about walking outside when it's cold and seeing people scurry for warmth. I saw some woman in a tank top outside and froze instantly on the inside. Minnesotans are crazy sometimes.

I stopped by the Melting Pot because I had time to kill before Eunice (AKA Scott) could pick me up. I talked to people and hung out and generally relaxed. I found out that I was welcome to get my job back if and when I returned to Minneapolis. Scott picked me up at 5ish and we were off to his house to see his beautiful Rotweiler Ceily. She was all excited to see me. Jumping up and down and wagging her butt. We caught up with each other over a few Malibu and cokes.....something I haven't drank in over 6 years.....but it was warm enough inside that we were able to pretend we were in a tropical environment. We laughed and gossiped and generally enjoyed ourselves whilst I waited for Jim and his new boy(toy)friend to come pick me up so we could go Christmas Tree shopping.

Scott filled me in on the details of the new man in his life and lo and behold I was treated to the opportunity to meet him as well. Just an evening of firsts. When Jim and Shawn arrived I was happy to finally meet the man that Jim had fallen head over heels over. I think that he was a bit nervous meeting me as well since Jim and I have known each other for a couple of years and are quite close. But get a couple of drinks in me and I can warm up to anyone. Scott's man Joe arrived shortly after Jim and Shawn. There I was again surrounding myself with handsome unattainable men, and loving every minute of it. We had to get going as it was getting late and Scott and Joe were off to dinner, so we packed ourselves into Jim's Jeep and we were off. I talked non stop to ease everyones comfort level and to let Shawn realize that I wasn't as bad as Jim surely made me seem. Just kidding Jim.

Anyway, Jim has a two story loft and we needed a huge tree. So we stopped at a nursury and found out that 14 foot trees are a bit on the spendy side. We ended up at Menards and got a beautiful 10 foot tree. We'll be putting it up today, but of course not decorating it until Friday. We went out to dinner afterwards. Jim's threats of me spending the night on the sidewalk and my tiredness kept me from telling all the stories I have from Jim's past. Well, the ones I know of anyway. Besides, Daddy Jeff will be in from Chicago tonight and he will remember all the stuff I normally forget. And that way we can keep each other company if we end up sleeping on the sidewalk.

Today is a cleaning/meal prep day. Tonight though, once Jeff gets in, it's going to be drunk night at boy bar. Start off at the Eagle/Bolt (yes, Mom, that's a gay leather bar) and then off to the Saloon to procure drinks from one of my favorite all time bartenders.....I just hope he hasn't forgotten what I drink.

Tomorrow morning Jim will be providing us with a hangover remedy breakfast. If I can open my eyes long enough and if anything exciting happens I'll be sure to let you know tomorrow......Happy Thanksgiving All!

I had the best first full day in Minneapolis. I got up at about 8 AM, Jim had some coffee waiting for me. I watched a bit of TV, talked to Jim's ex on the phone for a few minutes, called Patty Pumpking Pants to come pick me up and got ready for the day. I listened to music, drank my coffee and took my time. It was a great morning. Patty and I went to the Sunnyside Up for breakfast. My favorite server John wasn't working, but the food and coffee were still great. Then we ran errands. I got my glasses tightened, so did Patty, we went to the bank, and then the biggie. I returned Troy's sunglasses to him. They were in my car when I drove to Houston. I kept meaning to send them to him, but never got around to it.....I'm really bad at that sort of stuff. So, I dropped them off at his place of work and I ran out the door before I could ever see him. One of the main reasons I think that I ended up deciding to move to Houston was because of my circle of hell relationship with Troy. I had to make a clean break, the only way to do that was to leave town. Otherwise, I think I might be going through hell trying to deal with him still.

So anyway, with that done, Patty and I went to see a movie at Block E. Runaway Jury is a pretty darn good flick. Then I had to go buy a scarf and hat....I wasn't fully prepared for the weather. We hung out and had a good time. We fell back into our old routines of ignoring each other and focusing on the nearest TV or newspaper article when we had nothing better to say. It's nice to know some things never change.

Last night I spent time with Ms. Susan and her new beau C-John. We went to Matt's and had Juicy Lucy's and a whole lot of beer. We talked for over 3 hours and had the best time. I laughed over some of the stupid shit Susan and I have done in the past and talking to C-John who hadn't heard all of our stories was also a hoot. I was so happy to get into bed though. Just talking to Ms. Susan and petting George and Hunter (Susan's dogs) reminded me of how much I love spending time with all of them. The dogs stayed with me for some of the night.....you could really tell they missed me too. It was a great day!

Expedia Sucks

NEVER NEVER USE EXPEDIA!

This is a lesson I had to learn the hard way. I am currently on hold with expedia.com while I post. I have had several issues with them over the last couple of weeks about my flight to Minneapolis. The return date was wrong first of all. I thought for a brief few moments that it might be my fault, but have now come to realize that Expedia is to blame for everything. The first time I called the lady didn't tell me anything but that they would research the problem. My phone didn't ring. So I called back two days later. I got another girl. This time I was told that I could change my ticket at the airline counter when I got to the airport. It felt like she was passing me off to someone else. But, I figured that anything would be better than trying to deal with expedia at this point.

Finally the big day comes. I get up super early to ensure that I have all I need for my exciting trip to Minneapolis. I double check my suitcase, ensure all my beauty products have been safely stowed in my carry on and have Joy tote my ass to the airport. Now, I haven't really flown much since 9/11, so I wasn't prepared. I was "randomly" selected to get the full search. I think it was just because I was rude to the check in guy while he talked down to me at the Frontier counter. Anyway, I didn't realize that I was going to get the full pat down until I went through security. They pulled me aside, went through my entire bag searching for any contraband. The female security guard checked my person. It was all fun and pleasant. By this time I need a drink and it's only 8:30am. So I go to my gate and take care of some other last minute items. Namely changing my calling plan so that I could use my cell in Minneapolis.

We got on the way in a timely manner. There was a layover in Denver so I got to enjoy their beautiful airport for a whole 10 minutes. BTW, the bathrooms in Denver suck! So, I board my second flight and am treated to a view of a super hottie. This stuff never happens to me. He sat right across the row from me. A foot apart and I never said one word to him. But, I was treated to a nice view of his ass everytime he got up to let the other people in his row out. So, I can't say the day was a total waste. Anywho, the weather in Minneapolis wasn't the best today, so we had to circle around for a bit before landing. When I deboard the plane I make my way to the AirTran counter to change my return flight. Yeah, they told me there was nothing they could do for me. They said that when a flight is booked through expedia that they have to make the changes. That really pissed me off. I was so irate by that point I wanted to scream. I stormed off to the baggage carousel where I waited endlessly for my luggage. Yep, Murphy's Law, if anything else can go wrong, it will. My bags were still in Denver. The nice part was the airline was concerned about me being on the plane (so much so they took a role call of all the layovers), but my bag was of no concern. So, I found out that my bag would be joining us in the Twin Cities after 7PM, but now I know that I may have to wait until 2AM to actually have it in my possession.

Jim came to pick me up and we sped off in his sporty Jeep. It felt like I hadn't been gone for long, but at the same time forever. Of course I hadn't eaten since the morning and was starved. The cheeze-it's didn't curb my craving for a meal. So, since arriving in Minneapolis, I have been treated to some pizza, some TV watching, and am enjoying my first martini of the day. Jim has no olives, or martini glasses, so i am drinking it on the rocks. I usually enjoy mine dirty with 3 olives, but that will be remedied after my trip across the street to the co-op tomorrow.

To finish off my Expedia experience (I almost forgot because this gin is going straight to my head), I called for a third time and finally spoke to a superviser. After bitching enough I finally calmed down, the Expedia guy got me on a flight to Houston Sunday morning. It's not perfect, but it's good enough. He offered to give me a voucher for a $100.00. I turned him down. I told him that I would be telling everyone I know about my shitty experience with Expedia and I would never, never use them again. Tell your friends, family and even complete strangers, because expedia.com sucks (and not in a good way).

Joy's Night Out--

Last night after watching Joan of Arcadia I just didn't feel like sitting at home anymore. I looked for something to wears and headed downstairs.......I threw the offer out and Joy and I were out the door 15 minutes later.

The first place we went to was Coaches. Obviously a sports bar. We played some trivia dranks some beers, but then the shitty DJ started and we needed to leave. I suggested that one place........

Well, it ended up being called Mikes something or other. Anyway, I brought my darts and had just one thing on my mind. Well, more than one, but we don't need to hear all the dirty details.........I got us some drinks.....Joy was on Coke after her big one beer binge at Coaches. We were in the middle of our first game when the book club lady showed up with her husband. She was so excited to see us. She's all chatty anyway (more than me even....I can hardly get a word in edgewise). We invited them to join us in the second game. That's when we discovered neither of them had ever played darts before. How does this happen? Joy's theory is that they didn't go to college in Wisconsin. It's a pretty strong theory so I won't mess with it. Anyway, we had a great time. It was a fun night out.

Tomorrow I am off to Minnesota. Suppossedly they are going to get a huge snow storm so I have no idea what I am going to do. I could possibly get stuck in Denver. Who knows. Wish me luck! I'll have computer access so I'll keep y'all updated. Have a great day!

Christmas Songs Already--

I was just driving home from my last night at the Melting Pot when I heard a Christmas Song on the radio. I was scanning the stations, when I passed a song that was familiar but couldn't place. I had already hit 3 other buttons on my preset when I decided to go back, because it drives me nuts when that happens. Anyway, I went back and it was some song covered by Gloria Estefan. I found myself singing along. I can't even remember what song it was, but I felt all Christmas-y. I feel like starting a fire, putting up a tree, making gingerbread cookies and there isn't even any snow on the ground and Thanksgiving is still a week away. Yikes...I hope this feeling wears off by morning.

I've spent the entire morning training someone how to do my job. I'll be gone next week, and probably a couple days more. Someone has to take on all the responsibility that I have. I mean it's not easy reading blogs and surfing the internet to figure out what I am going to get my masters in. Yep, that's right......I'm going back to school. Sans Rodney Dangerfield style. I'm going to be that borderline, older student who looks young, but is found studying all the time in places where hotties hang out. I've considered some schools already, I just have to take the grad school tests and apply of course, but it's pretty much in the bag. Rrrriiiiiiggggghhhhhtttttt!

I've decided to get my masters in something literature related. I saw that there is a great Creative Writing program at the University of Houston, but it's super competitive because only 20 students are accepted a year. Which doesn't necessarily count me out. I've also looked into the U of M (that Minnesota) and Platteville (Wisconsin) not because of their programs necessarily, but because of their locations. The next couple of months could be interesting. I'll be sure to keep you updated.

Also, tonight is my last night at the Melting Pot. I'm elated. I'll be getting plenty of sleep on Thursdays now, which is nice. I'll also be able to watch the Thursday night line up, which is way more important. Yeah, I'm kind of a loser. Anyway, have a great night!

Good Morning!

Well, it's a happy day here in Houston. The temperature was close to 50 when I woke up this morning. Very brisk I must say. Today's post is dedicated to my favorite movie duo, Rock Hudson and Doris Day.

Last night I had the displeasure of watching Down With Love. I had heard from one of my sources, NRG, that it was a pretty good movie. Maybe I walked into it with high expectations. But just like that other musical nightmore, Moulin Rouge, I thought it sucked. The sexual innuendos, weren't. They were blatant attempts at spicing the movie up, but just made it look stupid. I didn't find it funny or very entertaining. I don't know if it was Ewan McGregor, who don't think is so attractive, but Joy seems to think so. It may have been because I love all those old movies so much that the mockery was too much to take. What ever it was I won't be watching that movie again. Give me Pillow Talk, Send Me No Flowers, Singing in the Rain, Gigi, and others to numerous to list. But please don't give me another shitty remake of a movie genre that I love!

I'm still a bit sleepy from my late night last night, but I think I'll live. The concert was wonderful. Although it did take 2 hours to get there....thank goodness we left with plenty of time to spare, because we used all of it. There were some pools of water that stood 8 feet tall on main highways, so getting to the Verizon Wireless theatre was more of a pain in the ass than I care to admit. After about an hour Joy and I were aimlessly trying to find topics to discuss. We studied the maps in my car for a better route, but by the time we began our frantic hunt for an alternative route it was already too late to turn back.

Anywho, we got there, we saw the whole show, it was good. They had a question and answer period where a few select Texans were able to verbally express how stupid they indeed are. The best part of the show I thought was when they went acoustic. It was right after the well placed intermission. They stood around a mic and sang a mixture of old and new stuff. The theatre was small, so it was an intimate setting that really called for acoustically music (I thought). Anyway, Joy and I got home at about midnight. I was exhausted and thankful that the drive home didn't take as long as the drive there.

Tonight it's read time....book club tomorrow night and I still have a few hours of reading on the selection. I also have to get some food ready for the potluck at work tomorrow. I think I am going to bring Pumpkin bread and taco dip. I was also thinking of bringing Tater Tot Hot Dish, but I don't know if these southerners are quite ready for that. I'll save the Hot Dish for the long 6 weeks of cold weather we should be having.

OK, have a great day!

I'm kind of bummed right now. It's pouring down rain and I am suppossed to go see the BareNaked Ladies tonight. Traffic in Houston sucks as it is, but now it's going to be like 100x worse because of the rain. The streets are all flooded right now and there are cars stalled in the middle of the road. It's like a war zone for stupid people who don't know any better than to drive through a 5 foot deep puddle in the middle of the street. Although technically I don't think it would be a puddle anymore, but you know what I mean. It's also hot and humid outside, which means that the air is cranked up super high to fight the humidity and it's freezing inside. I just don't think I will be happy until I'm sitting in my seat at the concert with my way over-priced beer!

I have had the oddest evening. It was one of those days when I was running behind on everything. I got to work a half hour late. Ooops! Oh, well. That wasn't so odd as the tables I had. One of my customers was from the Twin Cities. We chatted it up a bit, it was nice talking to someone who didn't sound like he married his sister......did I just say that. Anyway, my third table of the night was celebrating a birthday. There were 6 of them. We had a great time and they were fun to serve. I was elated when I saw that there was an extra $20 above the gratutity. Thank you Mr. American Express Gold Card.

My last table of the night was by far the oddest. I was finishing up with my last table when they were sat. I had the option of passing them to someone else, but I didn't because I wanted the extra money for Minneapolis. Anyway, the "main dude" was some guy from New York with tons of "Bling-Bling" on. He was Russian (by the accent), and spoke like a black gangster. Well, how black gangsters do in the movies anyway. He had this whole "yo-yo-yo" thing going on. He was disappointed to find out that in fondue world, you cook your own food right there at the table. He was sporting 3 huge diamond-y type necklaces, one in the shape of Texas (who even makes shit like that). Anyway, after I recoved from the bright flash, I managed to get them into a decent sized meal. Anyway, there were six of them total and their bill was only $150.00. A good portion of which was consumed through a straw, if you catch my drift. I laid the sarcasm on thick and provided excellent customer service (if you don't mind me saying) and was rewarded with a $50 tip. This is the single biggest percentage I have ever received. I was all like wooo-hoooo. Anyway, I had a great night. I almost feel bad about all the bad things I said about my big tipping table everytime I went into the kitchen. Although, he did offer to sell me some pot. Through some of my table talk, I was able to acertain that he was a "pharmacist". Which is what dealers sometimes call themselves, I found out from one of my co-workers. So, I'm guessing my big tip was probably drug money, but it spent the same as legit money at the bar.

Ok, I had to tell before going to bed. Have a great Sunday!

I finally did it. I finished off the last of the halloween candy. I think I may have chewed somewhere between 60-80 pieces of dubble bubble in the last 3 weeks. I think I have a cavity coming on.....damn it. When I needed my sugar high this morning, I combed the office looking for any good chocolate. Nothing was out there......my boss had some 3Musketeers, until yesterday.......I spied some Reese's Peanut Butter Cups in another cube, but I don't think there up for grabs......damn it.......where is the sugar!

I should maybe cut back now and start thinking about that exercise program I was going to start 3 months ago.....mmmmmmmmmm, but I'll need energy for that....where's the sugar?

I don't spell check everything on here and sometimes when I go back to re-read I find mispelled words. It irritates me, but I lack the ambition to go back and change it. So you'll just have to suffer. Now, if this was business related material I would definately run spell check and re-read several times in order to ensure professionalism.
I deal with insurance agents on a daily basis.....faxes here, faxes there, faxes everywhere. I talk to them on the phone, I exchange emails with them, and sometimes I even have to beat 'em down to get what I need for the accounts that I handle. The thing that irritates me the most though is getting an email or a fax from one of them with misspelled words. Today I had one that reminded me of something from my younger years (ie-junior/high school). The name of the agency has the word INDUSTRIAL in it. But, it's spelled INDUSTRAIL on the fax cover sheet. I just laughed and shook my head, wondering if I should call and let them know of the little faux pas.
But, anyway, it reminded me of a sign on the highway between Dodgeville and Madison. There was a sign that read, SQUIRREL TRIAL. My mom and I would laugh when we saw the sign. I decided to call the mom to see if she remembered this sign. She didn't. I was all like, I can't believe you don't remember it, we used to laugh about it. She's just one step closer to a home........shame, shame. We would joke about what happened at Squirrel Trials and everything. She ought to be ashamed.
Anyway, if anyone ever happens upon a Squirrel Trial, let me know what goes on there!

OK, this just went out via email. Just in case anyone else in Minneapolis wants to get in on the fun......just let me know......


The ticket is purchased and my hopes are high.....I am seriously looking forward to my cold weather vacation. I fly in on Sunday afternoon November 23rd. My departure date (from Minneapolis) is as of yet up in the air because I am a dumbass sometimes and expedia sucks my ass. I told them that everyone I know will here about the shitty customer service I received from them. Trying to pass my concerns off to others, and blatently ignoring my need to be catered too.....anyway! I want to try to see everyone of you. I know this may be difficult and actually next to impossible, but I would like to try. I'll be spending most of my time at Jims, until he gets sick of me and kicks me to the curb (which he threatened to do if I let too many stories slip to the new boy toy). So if I drink too many Gin Martinis one night and I don't shut the hell up, you may be getting a call to come pick my sorry ass up. Be prepared.

I am going to try to get a return flight from the 29th-1st. My scheduled return flight is the 3rd. (Like I said, I'm a dumbass). Anyway, give me a call or shoot me an email and I can pencil in some time with you. I do not have a car, so you will have to come to me, and cart me around. Ok, let the games begin. I hope to see you all soon!


Katrina

My mom's always asking me, "When will you finally get married?" and I always say, "When I find a man who has more balls than me."
-Salma Hayek

I'm ready to have a good time.....is anyone else?

I have a feeling this is going to be a long day. I'm only on Dr. Pepper #1 and I haven't gotten the kick I need. I might have to switch to coffee....it's only 9:30 and I'm tired.....yikes....restaurant tonight and I think I forgot to shut off my VCR....I might have to put in an emergency call to Joy to help out with that......

I called my mom on the way to work this morning. She is usually sitting at her desk working away. This morning someone else answered. They told me that my mom was at home because she had a doctors appointment. WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!
She expects me to tell her everything and then doesn't even mention some 50 year check up she should have had years ago. She was all salty about the fact I neglected to mention NRG. So we did a little give and take and I hung up satisfied that she was in no mortal danger.

Elton John---

I love Elton John. I went to see the Billy Joel and Elton John concert when I lived in Minneapolis. It was great. Anyway, I had this dream last night that I was invited to this fancy party. I wore an evening gown.....something I don't even own, and drank fine champagne from crystal, fluted glasses. The entertainment was Elton John. He sat at a piano and played while the crowd mingled. I sat there mesmerized. When he got up and walked in my direction I went crazy. Not knowing wht to say, but saying everything at once. Telling him how much I loved his music and it was such an honor to meet him. I can't remember much after that.......something about a horse in a rotunda. It's blurry and vague. But, and Elton John song just came on the radio and I was reminded of the time when I got to "meet" him, if only in my dreams. He better be careful and not show up at any parties I plan on being at, or he may get mobbed. Yikes.....I am a fanatic.

Halloween Candy

I'm down to the last of the Halloween Candy that was on my desk. I have realized that I hate Baby Ruth candy bars and the Dubble Bubble Gum only tastes good the first 10 minutes you have it in your mouth. Also co-workers hate it when you pop gum. Note to self: Continue to pop gum, I don't really like the people that sit right next to me anyway!

Also, kick the ass of the person who brought all their shitty trick or treat candy to my desk to rot. No one wants to eat crappy candy. Go buy some brand name treats and don't make it Baby Ruth candy bars. OK, the remaining candy will be tossed into my garbage tonight. I think that gives me just enough time to chew the flavor out of the 25 remaining pieces of gum in the treat bucket. Can anyone make a dental appointment for me?

Too Little Too Late

Too Little Too Late--

It seems as if sometimes when I mention someone on here.....a potential new friend for instance.....something seems to go wrong. It doesn't work out, it's flawed somehow. I don't want to jinx anything so I've been keeping secrets....yet again.

Remember Mr. Monday Night. Yah, that never worked out. Then there was pot smoker guy, never worked.....Oh, and Troy, lest we all should forget what a nightmare that whole relationship was.

Well, I have made a friend here.....but I don't want to jinx it. So I'll be vague with the details. Some of my close friends already know about him, but because he reads my blog and was a little miffed at the absence of his name from these sacred pages, I'll now talk about Navy Recruiter Guy or NRG for short, by the way, the moniker is his job, so if anyone is interested, let me know.

He does have a real name, but it's on a need to know basis only. He's one of my virtual friends that has magically come to life. We spoke on the phone for about a month before meeting. He is 34, divorced, kiddies, and a genuinly nice person. We talk on the phone every 2-3 days I guess. It's nice to have someone else in Houston to talk to besides Joy. He works later hours than I do, has other commitments and I sometimes feel like I am getting the blow off, but on the whole I enjoy talking to him. So, now he can't be like, Why didn't you mention me on your blog?, anymore.......I know it's too little too late though.....I hope this more than makes up for it......

OK, have a great day!

Amazon.com: Books: Ty's Tricks

Amazon.com: Books: Ty's Tricks

I ran across this book in the grocery store the other day. Not nearly enough photos of Ty, with or without any clothes on. In one photo he is in the shower with jeans on. I almost ripped it right from the book. Although the drool I left behind probably made the whole book worthless. I'll know to laminate next time.

It's been awhile, but I have some fun new searches that brought weirdos to the site......

Billy Ray Cyrus Nipple

Farting Dominatrix Chicago Which I am # 4 for......how did this happen?

Doing better today. Last night I found my purse which helped. It was on the bannister the whole time. There was just a jacket hanging over it. I could just scream. I did too, when I saw it hanging there. I was relieved about the whole getting on a plane thing.

I spoke with the auto body place on Friday. They told me that my car would probably be ready this Friday barring any unforseen problems. 2 weeks with a rental. I dread getting into that car every day. I can't wait to have the Vue back.

I worked at the restaurant on Saturday night. Against all my protests, Cory insisted on taking me to Montrose so we could scam on someone for him. It was cleaverly presented to me as him taking me out for my birthday. But, when we met this cute-sy red head and went out for a late night meal after the bars closed, I figured out his little game. I didn't mind. I had a good time and when I got home a little after 4AM I crawled into bed and slept a sound sleep.

In the afternoon on Sunday I went to West Oaks Mall. It's a little further away than I thought, but was happy to discover a Cinema Cafe type joint. They bring you food a drinks (even alcoholic). They pop their popcorn right there and use real butter upon request. It's a first run theatre too, so I saw Elf. I really enjoyed it. There were several time during the movie when I laughed out loud, which is always a good sign.

Thanks to Jimmy C. who gave me a call last night when he saw that I was feeling a bit blue. Also to Daddy Jeff who allowed me to talk his ear off for over a half hour on Friday night. It's nice to know that you all are there for me when I need you most.

Well, it must be time to get back to work. I'll talk to y'all later!

I'm having a blue weekend. I think after this blue week it can only be expected. I don't think I will be posting again until it clears up. The clouds are gray and raining all over my parade.

I did it. I gave my notice at the restaurant tonight. I feel so liberated and happy. I also made more money that I had previously on a Thursday night. Yeah!

In bad news, my purse is gone. Disappeared off the face of the earth. I have no idea where it is. I am suppossed to be getting on a plane in two weeks. Now what do I do. Tomorrow morning I am off to the Texas DMV to make it official. I will be a Texan. Although I will have to lie a bit in order to get through it, but I cannot divulge my sins until I do my pennace. So I know you all will be on pins and needles until I confess.

In other news I'm very tired and off to bed on those great sheets. Night!

Again with the taking stuff from other sites. I have just wasted an enormous amount of time here...

http://www.googlism.com/

The first thing I typed in was my name.....of course.....
The second was porn......that was much funnier

I have been in the market for new sheets as of late. There is a discount store in Texas called Ross. It's like a TJ Maxx or a Marshall's. Anyway, last night I went to dig through their sheets and came across the best deal ever. There were some Ralph Lauren sheets on sale. I mean super sale. I have a queen bed, and all of the other sheets that I had been looking at were either 180 count (like sand paper) and still $25. Or they were $40 for 220 count. So anyway, I found a matching flat sheet and fitted sheet at $10 each. They are Egyptian cotton, and like 400 count. By far the most luxurious sheets I have ever owned. I slept on them last night and it was like sleeping on butter. But not oily, or moist. Ok, not like butter, but like heaven. I've spoiled myself now and don't have any idea how I will ever go back to sleeping on anything else. Ok, I do, but I won't like it, at all!

The Story--
As I was driving down the road, I realized that my lane of traffic was moving much slower than the lane next to me (as it always is). So, I put on my blinker, looked over my shoulder into my blind spot and when I looked back again, I realized my lane of traffic was at a stop. I hit the guy in front of me. That's it. I'm ok, everyone is ok. My ego is the only thing damaged.

CAR

So, the accident, here are the pics. I'm calm enough today to be able to relate the whole story later on today.

car1.jpg

car2.jpg

car4.jpg

There's a car 3 out there somewhere....but I saved it to the wrong folder......ooops!

OK, well, I'll fill you in with all the details later. Have a great day!

Yeah, I thought I was all 80's but this was tough.

Post Birthday Blues

I think I gave the mom a bit of a scare this morning. After having the WORST birthday ever, I awoke unrefreshed this morning and called my mum on the way to work. A teary mess of a woman, I let it all out. I feel bad for putting out on her, but she's really my only outlet for this stuff right now. Oh, and my blog, but there is just no way to convey the emotion.

The other day my mom suggested that I move home. I hurt her feeling a bit, but I can think of nothing worse than being 30 and living with my mother again. It just seems like I should be assigned my big flashing neon sign that reads FAILURE on the same exact day. As much as I dislike how things in my life are at times, I don't think I could ever do it. I just have to scrap myself up off the ground and work towards something, keeping my eye on the target the entire time. Now, it's just a matter of what will work for me. The only option that keeps entering my head is SCHOOL. Put myself in deep debt again for a degree that I hope works for me. A permanent job with benefits would also help, so I found myself with pen in hand yesterday morning circling my perfect opportunities. Tonight Kinko's will be my temporary home while I prepare resumes and cover letters.

Wish me luck!!

This has been one of the worst days I have ever had. If we could just not mention it ever again, I would appreciate it greatly. Thanks for you assistance.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Joy and I went out for a nice dinner last night. Some Texas Steak and Cattle place, it was good, the service was so-so. The waitress kept wanting to pat me on the shoulder. I think she thought I was the butch of the two because of the short hair. She also left me with the bill even though Joy was paying. It was a somewhat humorous experience. When we got home we drank some beers and played cards. Overall, it was a very enjoyable evening. When I went to bed at one, I was super tired and officially one year older. Yep, I'm now 30. It brings a little tear to my eye everytime I've told myself so far today.

MAK and Daddy Jeff each sent me an e-card. Thanks guys! My mom has something in the mailbox for me, but I haven't had enough energy to go walk down to the end of the block to get it yet.

It's after 10AM and my phone hasn't rung once. It's been a pretty quiet morning, except for the shreiking episode I had when I was sorting my laundry and a waterbug fell out. Thank goodness Joy was here to save me. She is the butch one, if either of us has to be. She grabbed a nearby shoe and beat the hell out of the thing until it was dead. There was also the incident in the shower this morning where I almost fell. I was afraid of breaking my hip, you know how us seniors never recover from something like that.

I usually buy myself something for my birthday. This year it's a plane ticket to Minneapolis. I also decided to do something else for myself. I quit smoking. I have been a closeted and mostly not so closeted smoker for over 10 years. Oh, MY! I started when I was nineteen. I was living at home while I had taken the semester off from college. It just happened. Hundreds of dollars later I have decided enough is enough. I'm not going to be one of those preachy ex-smokers. I am going to miss it. It's very calming for me to sit down and have a ciggy after a shitty day. It's going to be hardest though when I am in a bar having a drink, because my natural reflex is to pull out a smoke and pretend I'm cool! So, I'm closing the door on a bad part of my life and opening another, to a shitty smoke free world. I'm sure in five years or so, I'll get used to the idea, hopefully.

Anyway, I'm off to breakfast alone, where I hope that my damn phone rings. I can't believe my mom hasn't called me yet.

Have a great day!